“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”– Fred Rogers
In life, parenthood, in marriage, careers, and even relationships -there are many times of crisis and we need helpful people in our lives, not judges, not critics. We see infidelity, we see neglect, we see dishonesty, and more – and yet NONE of this makes anyone unworthy of support and love.
I don’t need people to agree with my choices in how I chose to maintain my marriage, my sexuality, how I parent my children, how I run away from conflict that I see now growth through, how I chose to leave religion after 30, or how I vote on politics.
I need helpful people who can accept me for who I am, love me for who I am, andhelp me navigate MY STORY and MY life song without corruptioin and forcing me to adhere to how they believe life should be lived.
I bet you need helpful people too.
“Listening is where love begins: listening to ourselves and then to our neighbors.”-Fred Rogers
So – are you one of the helpful people?
It’s okay if you are not – that can be your tryth – but be sure to address those boundaries and not cross a line that you are in alignemnet with. It’s okay to let people kknow that you cannot be their helpful person in a specific situation or any of their situations out side of a listening ear.
But know … we can ALL be listeners. We can ALL be present and stand in our own power of love and light without sharing our unasked opinions. So that that and do that in accordance to your own authenticity.
You probably can tell I have this connection to Mr. Fred Rogers. I just love so much of what he stood for. His advice and statements have always been so deep even in the simplicity he expressed.
“Our society is much more interested in information than wonder, in noise rather than silence…And I feel that we need a lot more wonder and a lot more silence in our lives”-Fred Rogers
I hear and witness from people that I work with personally and observe that it’s hard for them to listen when they don’t know how to respond or how to get behind the person (how to support them) that is seeking their audibility. I challenge you to worry less about the response and introspect and chose to listen with wonder and fascination. Look at the story and not the person telling it. Your fresh perspective and wonder on a situation that you are not stuck in, not weighed down by emotionally or mentally, can really help you “help” them.
Helping others does not mean that you take on their story or their troubles. Helping is not feeling obligated to remove their struggles – that is key to understanding. Stand in your own power – you do not need to give some of it up in order to help others.
I aspire to be a helper (as if my Coaching certification and my desire to assist anyone that I can on their journey wasn’t enough insight into that). I wish for each of you to find your helper(s) and the discernment to know who is a real helper and who is not.
Shining Through the Shadows ~